I realized today why I haven’t found my true love and my life is terrible; even more important, I’ve realized I don’t really love Jesus. It’s because I don’t send those e-mail forwards. Just think: if I had started doing that when those things first started coming to me, I could have found my true love and had the best life ever at least nine years ago, plus Jesus couldn’t say I don’t love him. Here’s my new plan: you tell me if you’re willing to be a part of making my life all it can be, and you’ll be on my e-mailing list when I need to forward that stuff. I can’t have unwilling participants as e-mail recipients since I just can’t justify it, but you let me know if you want to help me out. Leave me a comment, and you’re in like Flynn.
Okay, just kidding. There is NO WAY on God’s green earth that I’m going to do that. I don’t believe in chain letters, and I don’t believe that it’s because I haven’t forwarded them that I am not married, and I’m certainly not going to tell you that I think I have a bad life, and I really do love Jesus! It just hit me this morning how frustrated I am with this pervasive thought that people seem to have: that a chain letter can control what happens to them.
Please, if you care about me at all, NEVER SEND ME ONE OF THOSE FORWARDS BECAUSE YOU EXPECT TO GET IT BACK! If, however, you need to send things to me so you don’t get seven years’ bad luck or so you can find a spouse or some other thing, let me know ahead of time that it’s your goal. I can push the delete button when I get it, no problem, if me receiving that stuff from you floats your boat; just don’t plan to get it back. Also, if you really believe that all your dreams will come true if you send out one mass e-mail, maybe you and I can have a little chat about why I don’t think it will work. Let me know.
